


May Madness [be] With You

by Angylle, Shattered_Heartless



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alya Hell, F/M, Marichat May 2020, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 10:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23969641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angylle/pseuds/Angylle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shattered_Heartless/pseuds/Shattered_Heartless
Summary: Multi-chaptered fic based off the Marichat May 2020 Tumblr prompts.Marichat May 20201 - witch au 2 - bell 3 - mouse 4 - thief 5 - dare 6 - hold my baton 7 - disguise 8 - don't tell me what to do 9 - cone of shame 10 - can i borrow your miraculous 11 - chat blanc 12 - kwami swap 13 - flower crown 14 - chocolate 15 - friendship 16 - do not disturb 17 - balcony 18 - banana 19 - tuxedo chat 20 - cat got your tongue 21 - fireworks 22 - kiss 23 - blush 24 - confession 25 - blep 26 - toe beans 27 - kitten noir 28 - lights out 29 - pajamas 30 - purrince 31 - time travel
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Kudos: 32





	1. Which Witch?

**Author's Note:**

> A day late but better late than never!

She never could have predicted a time when the people she supported and protected would turn on her, but here they were. A mob of people breaking down her door and rushing into her home in the dark of night. The rage radiating from them is so different from their usual gratefulness. They weren’t gentle as they bound her wrists behind her back and gagged her. Or as they yanked her from her home and relentlessly pulled her across the town square to the pyre they set up just for her on the outskirts of town.

She was tied roughly to the center stake of the pyre, her already bound arms pressed to the wood, scraping her wrists. The abrasions on her legs caused by multiple falls she took on the jaunt was irritated by the course ropes tied over her smock. She hoped this torture would end soon but she could see that the people had no intention to lighten her suffering. The mob before her began picking up and hurling stones at the girl, not caring where they struck. When they ran out of stones two men walked forward with lit torches. She did not want to think about the pain that awaited her but it was hard not to imagine it as she felt the heat rise around her.

The air began to thicken with smoke, choking the crowd of spectators and the victim. She felt the blaze begin to burn the wood below her. The flames licked at her bloodied feet, slowly searing her; within moments, the heat had charred her skin as the flames engulfed her feet. The smell of burnt flesh and hair filled Marinette’s nostrils. She screamed in pain and panic, but the gag muffled any sound she made. The flames quickly traveled up her body lighting her smock and engulfing her completely. The girl continued her muffled screaming from within her cocoon of pain and fire. 

Marinette jolted awake, breathing rapidly as she took in her surroundings. She sighed in relief as she recognized the familiar pink walls of her bedroom. Calmer, she looked towards the poster of Adrien Agreste taped next to her bed but instead of Adrien’s dreamy peridot eyes, Marinette found the cold unforgiving eyes of the people who burned her at the stake. Once again, Marinette jerked awake, this time taking a moment to confirm that she was truly awake. 

She could still smell her skin burn and feel the tingling and pain. She looked towards Tikki, still sleeping on her pillow. A heavy panicked sigh escaped her lips. Can she justify waking Tikki after the week they’d had? No, she needed all the sleep she could get. Grabbing a blanket, Marinette carefully stood and pulled herself onto her balcony through her skylight. She wrapped the blanket around herself as she walked over to the railing. Not even the sight of the city she loved helped to shake the memory of her dream.

The girl didn't notice the black clad superhero that landed softly behind her until he spoke. “A penny for your thoughts.” 

Marinette was so immersed in thoughts of her nightmare that even the soft voice made her jump a foot in the air. “Chat! You scared me.” Her exclamation sounded much angrier than than she felt. 

“I’m.. sorry. I’ll … I’ll go.” The disappointment in his voice as he had turned to go was evident. 

“No!” she called for him to stop. “ I’m sorry, Chat Noir. I just wasn’t expecting you. Is there an akuma?” She asked though she had long suspected that Chat used the suit a lot more than she did, even when there were no akumas or patrols. 

He turned back around and smiled sheepishly. “No, I couldn’t sleep and the house felt stuffy.” She nodded, wasn’t that close to what she had experienced herself? Plus the nightmare. 

“Why are you out?” he tilted his head, quizzical and curious. “You’re not usually out at this hour, are you purrincess?” He intoned quietly as he walked to her side and leaned on the rail.

Marinette shook her head, “Just a bad dream. Nothing to be worried about. I just couldn’t stay in the house.” 

“You look haunted. You sure you’re okay?” Concern colored his voice. “Problems at school?” 

She chuckled awkwardly, yes, Lila was still wreaking havoc on her social life but the nightmare had nothing to do with her. Did it? She sighed heavily. “Maybe my social life caused the nightmare but… it wasn’t about my life.” She winced at the thought of being burned in real life before continuing. “I… uh… was burned at the stake in my nightmare.”

“Oh, ow… I really hope your social life is better than that right now.” How could he sound so genuine? 

“You and me both.” They stared at the city of love together in companionable silence for a while before she thought to return the sentiment and genuinely ask him about his motivation for being outside the house. “Problems at home?” 

He didn’t look at her as he shook his head. “Fought with my father before going to bed. Had a nightmare. Fittingly, it was about Ladybug, burning at the stake too. My father held me back while Hawk Moth and Mayura tortured her, jeering at her pain…” He trailed off with an irrily haunted look on his face. It was a side of Chat Noir she had never seen. “And no matter how hard I fought, I couldn’t escape, I couldn’t stop them... I couldn’t save her.”

She tried not to wince, burned twice at the stake on the same night. Good thing premonitions didn’t exist. “Neither of us had good dreams tonight.” She knew she was stating the obvious, but was unsure what else she could say. 

“No,” the negative weighed the conversation down and both superheroes became enthralled in their own thoughts. Marinette didn’t know how long they just stood there in companionable silence once more before the chill of the night made her shiver even in her blanket. 

“You should go back inside and try to sleep again.” Chat declared when he saw her breathe on her hands in an attempt to warm them.

“Yeah, I probably should.” The frigid air engulfed her as she pulled her blanket off in preparation to go down the skylight. “Thank you for the company, Chat noir.”

“My pleasure, Purrincess, sleep well.” He said as he bowed. 

“I’ll try, you should too.” She responded and laughed as she descended into her room. She thought she heard Chat say something as the glass closed down but when she lifted it again to ask him what it was, he was gone. 


	2. a bell by any other name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still running a day late, but here's chapter 2.

Chat Noir watched the miraculous ladybugs fix the damage caused in the arduous battle with Echoist. He glanced over at the victim who had just wanted the world to be quiet while his migraine passed. The akumatized villain had had the ability to amplify the smallest sounds into an echoing cacophony. 

As soon as the battle had begun, Chat Noir had been at a disadvantage. The amplified sounds hit him like physical punches because of his already augmented hearing; he had barely been able to stand much less fight until Ladybug had called her lucky charm. Never had he seen a lucky charm’s use be so straight forward: a helmet specialized to block out the sounds from battle. After donning the helmet he had been unaffected by the akumatized villain’s ability  but Ladybug still had to bear the sounds. Ladybug had grimaced and flinched away from him all throughout battle. Chat glanced at his partner who looked exhausted but satisfied. 

“Pound it!” Chat happily exclaimed, extending his closed fist towards the enervated girl. 

The girl cringed away from her counterpart briefly before she rushed towards him. For a fleeting second Chat Noir thought she was about to tackle-hug him and he was overjoyed. He opened his arms, ready to bear the brunt of her weight. 

But it all went wrong as she grabbed his bell, ripped it from his suit and hurled it away from them. “Swear to GOD! I’m so tired of that thing!” she screamed her exasperation before she turned around, flung out her yoyo, and swung away. 

The akumatization victim smiled wanly and walked to the bell that had only flown to the edge of the roof and picked it up. “I know how she feels, that migraine before I was akumatized was… Hellish.” 

“Yeah, I…” Chat Noir didn’t finish the thought as he took the discarded bell the man offered him and placed it in his pocket. He wouldn’t have been able to speak if he had wanted. He hadn’t thought that while he had been protected by her helmet, Ladybug had been exposed to all the little annoying sounds people didn’t usually notice amplified to torment. 

“How do we get down from here?” The victim looked around nervously, “is there a way to get down from here without super powers?”

Chat chuckled sadly, probably not. “Need a lift? I’ll take you where you need to be.”

Chat decided to wander through the city after dropping the man off, taking the scenic route home. The battle had been one of the rare ones where he hadn’t needed to use his cataclysm and his piano recording should still have half an hour left before it stopped. A situation like this would usually have given him half an hour of liberty to use the city as his playground but the exchange with Ladybug earlier had affected him more than it should have. Vaulting through the city wasn’t as exhilarating as it usually was. 

So what if she hated  _ his _ favorite part of his suit. He tried to comfort himself. He touched the pocket where he had placed the bell and missed the next vault, falling awkwardly and noisily on a wood and table scattering the tea set that was on it across the balcony. 

He was barely recovering from his fall when the skylight a few feet away flew open and a terrified but determined teenage girl flew out brandishing a black umbrella as a weapon. 

“Who’s out here?” the girl called out, helping Chat Noir figure out what roof he landed on. He did have a bad habit of landing on her roof at the most inappropriate times. Or at times when he needed the company most. 

Chat didn’t answer for fear of bursting out in laughter at the sight she made. What did she think she could do with the umbrella? Her chances of beating the intruder weren’t good whether he was a determined criminal that scaled a few floors to get into the house or an akuma landing on her balcony. Also, was that his umbrella?

He set the wood table back up right, managing not to snicker as the girl advanced blindly, almost using the umbrella as a white cane. Was it that dark? With the light of the setting sun he could still make out the raven black hair separated into twin pigtails, the ocean blue eyes, the pert nose and coral lips of the girl fumbling over to him but she seemed to barely be able to see a foot in front of her. 

“Careful there, Purrincess, you might fall and break something.” he couldn’t help but tease as she stumbled forward on the even surface. How brave was she? Walking in the dark towards a would be assailant. 

“Chat!” Marinette stopped stumbling towards him and turned to an outdoor outlet covered in plastic by the window where she plugged in a cable. The lights on the balcony turned on.

Chat Noir actually doubled over in guffaws at Marinette’s thought process. Why hadn’t she thought to turn on the lights if it was that dark? Especially if the outlet was so close to the opening she used to get on the roof. The girl stared at the superhero, unamused. “What are you doing here? Are you trying to scare me again?”

Her questions sobered him. “I was vaulting by. I may, or may not, have missed my vault and have fallen on your tea set.” He saw the teapot by her foot. “Which, by the way, I can pay for if it broke.” His hand flew to his neck. He wasn’t sure how she would react. She was a nice girl, he knew from observing her interactions with other people and the scant few times she had chatted with him, but he didn’t know her well enough to predict her reaction now. 

“My tea set…” she bent to pick up the tea pot and placed it and his umbrella on the lounge by her, “it seems fine, are you okay?” there was genuine concern in her voice, like there had been yesterday when she asked him why he was out and about in the middle of the night. He wasn’t sure if he expected that. “It’s not like you to miss a vault when you’re just out and about.”

“I, uh…” what did she mean by ‘it’s not like you’? She didn’t know much about him either, right? 

“NotthatIknowmuchaboutyou..” Her rushed words and the embarrassed blush reminded him that she had had  _ that _ crush on him a few months back. Maybe she did know him better than he thought. Did she still have the crush on him? He shook his head, he suspected that even if she wasn’t crushing on him anymore she  _ was _ considerate enough to ask if he was okay. “But I assumed you were less clumsy than me…” 

Chat snorted, “have you seen me in the akuma battles? I spend most of my time on the ground, or being thrown around by LB.” She laughed like Chat intended but her eyes were still worried. 

“But do you usually miss a step? I would think that you had cat reflexes... ” Marinette insisted, was she always this stubborn?

He rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “No, I got distracted.” 

“By a girl?” Marinette teased, not expecting Chat to nod in agreement. Her face seemed to fall slightly when he did.

His hand went to the pocket with the bell, “well, yes and no,” Adrien chortled at the surprised expression that arose on her face. “Ladybug... “ He shrugged, he’d told Marinette before about his love for the super-heroine. “We fought a sound akuma earlier. We used her lucky charm to protect my ears but she was still affected by it... so by the end of the battle the sound of my bell drove her crazy…” he shrugged, taking out the bell from his pocket and cradling forlornly it in his claws. “She grabbed it and threw it away before she left earlier.” 

Compassionate Marrientte winced at the recounting, Adrien couldn’t help be amazed by her soft heartedness. “Was that bad?” 

“No, not really. Her ears had been tormented by augmented sounds the whole time we were battling, of course the sound of my bell would disturb her.” It irked Adrien that his voice sounded so sad, he never let Chat Noir sound sad but something about Marinette’s commiserating ear made him want to tell her the truth. It was always this way when Adrien encountered Marinette as Chat Noir. “I love the bell.” He closed his fingers over the bell, concealing it from sight. “It shouldn’t hurt this much that she doesn’t.” 

Chat could see when an idea struck Marinette, his everyday Ladybug was sometimes as creative as the super-heroine. “I’ll be back,” she yelled as she jumped down the open skylight and into her room. It only took her seconds to return with a piece of green ribbon and a mirror in her hands. She trip-ran to him and took the bell from his hand. “Stand still,” she ordered and he obeyed. Standing as still as he could manage, all he could see was Marrinette’s focused expression as she gripped the hand held mirror between her coral lips. It took her a few seconds but then she grabbed the mirror away from her mouth and screamed, “there you go!” in victory. 

She held up the mirror for him to see her handy work. The bell was attached to the zipper of his suit by an emerald green ribbon. “It’s purrfect!” He proclaimed with the biggest smile he could muster, he didn’t want to mention that it would just revert to the original form the next time he transformed, but he still appreciated his friend and her efforts to cheer him up. 

“Thank you, Marinette.” He vocalized in appreciation as he grabbed her hand and kissed her fingertips. Doing that to her gloveless hand felt very different than when he usually did it to Ladybug’s. His lips tingled as he let go of her hand and… was that a blush on his friends face? “I’ll take my leave, thank you for cheering me up, purrincess.” Chat Noir grabbed his baton and vaulted from Marinette’s balcony before she could respond. 


	3. Mouse Chase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will we ever catch up to the right day? *shrug* Stay tuned to find out.

Thoughts of Marinette haunted Adrien on the way home. She was too nice and he kept taking advantage of that as both Adrien and Chat Noir. He thought it was a shame that her work with reattaching his bell would be wasted as soon as he detransformed so on the way home he veered towards the park. He found a good spot under a streetlight and snapped a few selfies, making sure the emerald ribbon, in all it’s glorious color, was visible. It was a shame he could not send them to Marinette immediately, he would have to wait to show her the pictures the next time he saw her. He could barely contain his excitement. When would he be able to visit her again? 

After a few more selfies Chat Noir vaulted to the mansion, avoiding the cameras on the way into his room. Once inside he said the destrasnofmation phrase and caught the ribbon as it fell from his body, no longer having anything to be attached to. Plagg zipped out of the ring, smirking at his Chosen’s confused expression. “Looks like someone still appreciates your sense of fashion after all. Are you going to send her the pictures you took?”

“Marinette’s a very good friend,” Adrien reasoned. “She was just trying to cheer me up.” Turning towards his computer, Adrien missed seeing Plagg as he facepalmed. “It’s just...” he opened the drawer on his computer desk and dropped the ribbon in. “I wish there was some way I could repay her for all the kind things she has done for me.” The heavy sigh escaped on its own as he sat at the computer and stared blankly at his screensaver.

“Yeah, it’s not like you have anything she wants,” Plagg commented dryly. 

Adrien sighed, “Your right,” he dropped his forehead on his keyboard, waking the computer. “I can probably list on one hand what I know about Marinette.” He banged his head on the keys and proceeded to bring his closed fist over his head and lifted a finger per item he listed.    
  
“She’s kind and compassionate. She loves fashion. She had a crush on me at one point and She was Multimouse that one time.” When he lifted his head he looked at the four fingers he had held up and he rubbed at his eyes with his other hand. Plagg groaned at Adrien’s ability to be so blind. 

“Adrien…” The conflicted kwami wanted to say something to comfort his Chosen but he could not think of what to say. 

It turned out that he didn’t need to say anything. “That’s it!” Adrien’s head jerked from his hands and he faced his screens as if lightning had struck him. Frantic energy infused him as he opened a new browser window. “I can get her something to commemorate her time as a hero!”

Plagg decided to ignore his Chosen, he had no desire to see what idea the oblivious boy came up with when he was only using a limited amount of brain cells. Instead, the kwami phased inside of the cabinet containing his cheese stash. Plagg aspirated his cheese whole, resembling the blackhole Adrien sometimes called him until he heard the boy cheer in victory. The kwami shuddered in terror, already anticipating the terrible idea Adrien could have thought up. Cautiously, he exited his cabinet glancing towards the computer for confirmation. On the monitor he could see the ad page for a windup mouse toy included in a kids meal from a local fast food restaurant. Plagg narrowed his eyes at Adrien, “You’ve gotta be kidding me with this.”

“It’s the purrfect gift, Plagg!” Adrien exclaimed excitedly, grinning from ear to ear. “It’s simple and inexpensive, so she can’t refuse it. It’s also a reference to her time as Multimouse and how she single handedly saved the day.” Adrien excitedly rubbed his hands together. Plagg glared at his choses. “And I’m hungry!” Adrien ignored the kwami’s exaggerated eye roll and he turned back to the screen. “If we hurry now, we can get there before it closes.”

Plagg snorted, “As if your father will pull that stick out of his butt long enough to let you out to buy a kids meal that’s against your diet.”

Adrien gave Plagg a sly smile. “Who said we were asking for permission?” The kwami’s eyes flew open as he realized his Chosen’s plan. “Plagg, claws out!” Adrien called for his transformation before Plagg could protest.

Marinette sat on the lounger on her balcony, sketching a new design, when Chat Noir landed with a soft thud on the rooftop behind her. She leaned back to look at the superhero staring down at her. “Chat Noir? What are you doing here again?”

It is becoming a habit, Chat admitted to himself as he realized this was the third time in as many nights that he was visiting Marinette on her balcony. “I have a present for you.” He happily ignored her question and hopped down from his high ground. 

“For me?” one of her eyebrows rose into her bangs. 

“Well, it’s for a very friendly, nice and awesome girl named Marinette, would you happen to know who that is? She lives around here.” He teased as he walked to her side with his hands behind his back. 

Both of Marinette’s eyebrows rose into her bangs. “Since when does the great Chat Noir do home deliveries of presents? This girl must have done something impressive indeed…” 

Chat nodded eagerly and offered her the small box he had held behind his back. “She did, She single handedly defeated a villain, without the need for Chat Noir or Ladybug.” 

“That was over a month ago Chat…” Why did Marinette’s chastising sound so familiar? Had she ever reprimanded Adrien? No, she barely talked with Adrien, he didn’t think she even liked him… 

“Well, recently this same amazing girl helped out a cat that lost his bell out of a funk. Said cat thought she deserved some recognition.” He brought the box closer to her as he wiggled his eyebrows under his mask. He knew well enough that the not so subtle movement should be evident on the mask.

Marinette snorted as she took the box from him cautiously, eyeing him suspiciously as she lifted the lid. Her eyes widened as she recognized the windup mouse, only available in the kids meal of a local restaurant, that was nestled in gray and pink tissue paper. The girl looked back at Chat Noir and smirked, “I always knew that you were actually a child behind the mask.”

Chat sputtered for a moment, unsure how to reply. Did she dislike his gift? Did she hate it? Maybe Marinette thought toys were immature or she didn’t like the reminder of her time as a hero? He was still lost in his spiral of negativity while Marinette wound up the toy. She looked around before placing it on the small round table. It scurried across the table and over not fell off the edge. The mouse darted between Chat’s feet, causing him to jump onto the railing in surprise. Marinette giggled as the hero’s eyes watched the mouse intently. 

The mouse rebounded off of the short wall around the edge of the balcony and zigzagged back towards Marinette. She squeaked as she lifted a foot to let the mouse go past. When the Mouse bounced off of the back wall, Chat lunged to snatch it up. The hero mistimed his leap, missing the mouse and hitting the wall behind the trapdoor. 

Marinette chortled in laughter as Chat rubbed his head and glared at the laughing girl. “Don’t just cackle like a maniac, Help me  _ cat _ -ture it!” 

“You’re a cat! You shouldn’t need help  _ cat _ -ching a mouse.” Chat’s eye widened slightly “What? It was  _ punny _ !” She tittered with laughter, holding her side.

“Come help  _ meow _ ,” he play-growled as she stood to chase the mouse. Chaos ensued as the two of them attempted to catch the mouse as it scurried and ricocheted off of the low walls, failing every time. Eventually, the mouse slowed to a halt underneath her lounge chair.

“ _ Hiss _ -terical!” chat muttered as he crawled to the chair. Marinette crouched by the chair and laughed again as Chat Noir’s paw bumped the mouse and it gave a last leap towards her. 

Breathless, Marinette picked up the now motionless mouse and placed it on the wooden crate by the chair. Chat threw himself on the lounger. How can a wind up toy exhaust a superhero? Marinette stood and went to sit on the low balcony wall by the crate. Her easy balance gave Chat anxiety. The image of the girl falling down the side of the building popped into his head; he knew how fast her complete clumsiness overtook her.

“That was fun,” the breathless girl said between huffs. 

“It was,” Chat looked at her carefully, her cheeks were red from exertion. “Does that mean you like the gift?”

She huffed loudly and smiled wider, “Surprisingly, yes, and after that I think a treat is in order.” She jumped from her seat and Chat Noir sighed in relief. “I’ll be back!”

She ran to the skylight and jumped down. Chat was conflicted about seeing Marinette like this. How would she feel if she knew who he was? As Adrien, he only ever got to see her stutter when she tried to talk to him but with Chat Noir she had teasing, complete conversations. He wondered how talking to Adrien was different to talking with Chat Noir. He didn’t get much time to contemplate alone. She called for him when she was back in her room and handed a tray up to him before pulling herself up. 

“What’s this?” He brought the tray closer to his nose. “Whatever is in the mugs smells delicious.” 

Marinette giggled as she sat on the low wall again. “It’s a tea mom made me start drinking after I told her of my nightmare on Friday. She says it’s supposed to calm my nerves and help me sleep.” 

“It does smell good.” Chat could feel the heat rising from the mug under his nose. Marinette laughed louder and pulled the tray, guiding it to the crate besides the mouse. 

Marinette pointed at the pastries, “Croissants with cream cheese filling,” but the boy was more interested in the mug she handed him. Chat brought the cup with the steaming liquid to his nose and inhaled deeply, trying to figure out what the alluring smell. The girl giggled uncontrollably as the cat boy took a tentative but inquisitive sip from the mug. 

“What is it?” He asked inhaling again and swishing the sip of his drink in his mouth. 

“Catnip tea.” The superhero choked as the girl continued to talk. “I laughed when mom told me what it was. It’s not supposed to work on humans the same way as it does on cats,… but now I wonder if it works on  _ you. _ ”


	4. Cat Burglar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still behind, but what's new?

_ but now I wonder if it works on  _ **_you_ ** _.  _

_   
_ “I guess we get to find out.” Chat Noir chuckled and took a larger gulp from his cup.

These were the famous last words of Marinette’s life. Or, they would be, after her parents gave her the promised teasing in the morning. She  _ should _ have known to stop Chat Noir after his second gulp of catnip tea and the words that came out of his mouth. 

“We should name the mouse… mmmmm…” He grabbed a croissant and hummed in appreciation after his first bite. 

“Dash?” she barely said the name before Chat was shaking his head furiously and flushing the croissant down with a gulp of tea. “It fits him! He made us work for his capture.”

“How about we name him… Terical?” If Marinette’s sight had been as sharp as his, she would have noticed his eyes dilating in the fading light. If she had been paying closer attention to her friend, she would have noticed his changing speech patterns. 

“Terical?” She asked skeptically.    
  
“Yes, Terrical…. Because… he was  _ Hiss _ -Terical and now he is  _ Mouse _ -Terical!” He giggled hysterically before throwing back the remaining contents of his mug and choking.

“Chat Noir?” Marinette called to him as he continued to cough. She hopped down from the low wall and jumped to his side, patting his back as he struggled to regain his breath. “Breathe, Chat, breathe.” 

“Are you feeling better, Chat?”

  
“Wha…” Chat’s voice was raspy, but Marinette was glad he was breathing properly.    
  
He quieted his breathing while she patted his back. “Ever wondered what it would be like to personify popcorn…?” Chat's voice drifted off, his glassy eyes focused on the fairy lights above. “What do you think it would say if it saw you eating a bag?” His speculative expression changed one of exaggerated terror and he waved his arms in the air while vocalizing. “Don’t you DARE eat my relatives!” ™* 

Marinette shook her head exasperatedly. Even when he was not himself Chat Noir had to be a dork. 

“I have no idea, Chat, maybe it  _ would _ say that.” She scrutinized his face. His eyes had gone from dilated and alert to glassy in seconds. “I don’t think you can vault over rooftops in your state.”

"Marinette?" His hoarse voice questioned 

"Yes, Chat?" She cringed as she spoke. Had he slurred her name? 

"I have a friend named, Marinettenettenettenette..." He laughed uncontrollably, his boisterous laughter rising in pitch. **

"Yes, Kitty, you do, and she would really appreciate it if…” If what? What could she do right then? She had no idea how the catnip was affecting Chat or how long it would last. What had she actually done to him? “She would really appreciate it if you stayed on her rooftop while she runs downstairs to ask her parents for help." She spoke slowly and clearly, as if he was five years old and she was explaining a physics problem to him. 

"Okay, Marinettenettenettenette, I'll stay here and not move an inch," he said sweetly, like the five year old she addressed him as and froze with his arm in the air. That was going to hurt him later but she was grateful he promised not to move. 

Marinette jumped into her room and down from the loft. She stumbled across the room and to the trap door before Tikki caught up to her. “Marinette… what happened?”

“Did you know catnip would affect him? How long is it going to last?” Marinette asked as she pulled her trapdoor open.    
  
Tikki giggled. “It really shouldn’t have worked. The Miraculous bearers don’t get our tendencies.” Marinette froze on the stairs.   
  
“Then what happened? Is he making fun of me?” Marinette was incredulous. What was it with blond boys playing pranks on her?

Tikki laughed harder. “He may not be pranking you, Marinette,  _ your _ Chat Noir is  _ very _ gullible.”

The very confused Marinette Dupan-Cheng threw her arms in the air and shouted, “Then what do I do?” in exasperation. 

“Talk to your parents, I hear them running towards us.” Tikki had sobered up a bit but still looked amused. “He may just need to sleep it off. He’ll be fine.”

Sabine ran to the bottom of the staircase followed by a very alert but already dressed in pajamas Tom who asked “What happened?”

“Chat Noir is on my balcony,” the flustered girl rubbed at her eyes. 

“Yes, dear, you told us that when you asked me for an extra cup of tea.” Sabine spoke reasonably, guiding Marinette through her story like the girl had guided Chat Noir through her instructions before leaving him on the balcony.    
  
“Well,” she looked pleadingly at her mother. “He’s delirious… or he thinks he’s being funny.. I don’t know… I think the catnip affected him the way it affects cats.” Marinette's voice became a high pitched trill on the last word of her tirade. She ran her hand through her hair, pulling it out of her pigtails. 

“You think…” Tom didn’t finish his sentence, only turned to look at Sabine questioningly. 

“It seems…” Sabine nodded sagely. 

“You think, it seems, Please translate, I'm worried, here! Please help.” Marinette begged her parents who just laughed at her pain. 

“It… seems like you were right, he was just affected by the catnip the way a cat is. He’ll be fine. Bring him into your room to sleep it off. You can sleep in the living room tonight.” Tom was the voice of reason in Marinette’s insane night. 

“Thank you maman, thank you papa.” she uttered softly and turned to flee.    
  
“You do know they won’t forget this, right?” Tikki asked the girl as she fled to her room. She groaned, she could already imagine the teasing she would get for hindering a superhero’s sobriety. She’d deal with it later. 

She got back to her balcony to find a still frozen Chat. Had he actually not moved? He didn't look as if he had. “Chat… you can move now.” Chat Noir lowered his arm and looked at Marinette. “My parents said you can spend the night in my room.” 

Chat’s expression turned into a dopey grin. “Yay!! Which trapdoor am I using?” he asked, pointing in three different directions letting Marinette know that he was probably seeing triple. 

“Here,” She extended her hand to him, “I’ll guide you in.” 

“I get to spend the night in Marinettenettenettenett’s bed.” He sing-songed as he took her hand.

Marinette cringed at how that sounded but she wasn’t about to get into an argument with a less than sober Chat. “Is this how Adrien feels whenever I speak to him?” She muttered, forgetting Chat had an augmented sense of hearing while transformed. 

“Adrien?” Chat started muttering as she guided him to the skylight. “Weird nameeee… Ad-rieennnn! Ad-riend-adddd!” 

She took a deep breath. She always knew this boy would steal her sanity, she just didn’t know she’d steal his sobriety first. She helped him fall through the skylight. 

"Oh look it's  _ my _ relative!" Chat giggled as he dropped onto Marinette’s bed. "Hello there little cousin! What has the evil ravenhead done to you?” Chat Noir sat with his legs crossed like he was in a grade school classroom, looking her cat pillow in the eye. “Did she cut off your tongue?” He gasped and Marinette wasn’t sure if his gasp was real or faked.    
  
“Chat!” She chastised to no avail as he continued talking to the pillow. 

“And sewed your mouth shut? That is animal cruelty!”*** He continued to babble. Marinette rubbed her forehead before dropping into her room after her partner. She had the urge to push him down with a pillow over his face until he fell asleep. Instead she got off the bed and walked over the steps to the lower half of her room, the more room she put between herself and Chat the better. “Try to sleep Chat. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.” 

When she didn’t get a response right away she turned to see him already asleep, curled up with the cat pillow. He was kind of adorable asleep. She picked up her phone and snapped a few pictures of him and her pillow. 

~~~

A crashing sound woke Marinette. She sat up in her bed… only to find that she wasn’t in her bed but on the living room couch. She looked around, still disoriented but remembering the crash. There, silhouetted against the light of the fridge, stood a person that was too tall to be her mother and too short and trim to be her father. The frightened girl picked up the umbrella from the coffee table, for once glad she had forgotten to put it in its place after the rain that day. She walked towards the kitchen umbrella in the air, careful to not make any noise to give her away to the intruder. Marinette crept up on the intruder, slowly raising the umbrella above her head to strike.

“What are you doing?” She screeched a warning, it was only fair.    
  
The stranger turned around, she could still not see the face but they growled and lunged at her. Marinnette swung the umbrella down, as hard as she could, on the head of the intruder; they dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. 

Blinking to adjust her eyes to the bright light from the fridge, Marinette dropped her umbrella in shock as she realized who she had attacked. Chat Noir laid unconscious at her feet, the remains of a broken plate and a dozen croissants scattered on the floor in a halo around the fallen superhero. A half eaten croissant was by his mouth, the cream cheese filling still on his upper lip.

“What was that?” Tikki drifted to Marinette’s side, rubbing her eyes. 

“I…” The girl didn’t finish her sentence as she fell to her knees besides her partner. “Chat! Chat Noir!” 

~~~

“Chat? Chat Noir, wake up already!”

Chat Noir woke to a clearly panicked Marinette, “What were you thinking, you stupid cat?” He had obviously been wrong, the frightened girl from yesterday could have stood a chance against one or two of the things that could have landed on her balcony. 

He started to giggle uncontrollably.

“Please snap out of it, Chat!" Marinette begged the delirious boy.

“Who is Chat? I'm not Chat.” He shook his head aggressively. “No, no, I’m not Chat!  _ My _ name is....” Marinette’s hand flew to the superhero’s mouth, the hero whose mind was currently not functioning, who was currently out of his senses because she had fed him something that wasn’t good for him and because she had hit him on the head. He still mumbled under his breath but she was glad she couldn’t make out what he said. 

He put one of his claws over her hand and tapped her in a request for her to remove it. Was she ready to know his civilian identity if he blurted it out now? She wasn’t, but she couldn’t ignore his request; she obliged unwillingly.    
  
“I want another croissant.” The craving came back with a passion.

“I see that now, did you have to be so noisy?” Marinette felt relief that he had not tried again to tell her his identity, “You should have woken me first.” The girl complained and slapped his shoulder. 

Chat noticed that the strike hurt more than it should have. There was something to note for later: she was stronger than she looked. He looked at the ceiling, the room was full of light compared to how it had been before he blacked out. He felt under himself and found that he wasn’t on the floor but on the couch. When Chat tried to sit up Marinette pushed him back down. “Marinette! Do you have any more croissants and tea?”

“No, there is no more tea for you and you dropped the croissants when I… hit you.” She dropped her head in shame. “I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine, I have a hard head.” He tried to get up again. “But, you sure none of the croissants made it?” Chat struggled against the girl pushing him down, the thought of croissants was too strong.

“If you don’t settle down, I’ll have to tie you up.” 

Chat laughed “I’d like to see you try.” The challenge was barely out of his mouth before Marinette was tying his hands in front of him. Using his tail! “Hey!! What are you doing!” Marinette grunted and pulled it tighter around his wrists then looped it around his waist, immobilizing his arms against his body. “That’s my belt!” 

“And those were my croissants!” Tom huffed from the end of the couch, how had Chat missed seeing the massive man sitting a few feet away from him? “And my sleep.”

“Where’s my sanity?” Marinette grunted as she sat on the ground besides the couch and banged her head lightly on the coffee table besides her.    
  
“Stolen, all of them.” Marinette turned her head on the table to stare at her maman. Sabine stood by the other end of the sectional, phone pointed at the dejected three. Marinette wasn’t sure if she was taking pictures or video recording. “Okay, everyone try to sleep.” Sabine smiled widely as she lowered her phone. She walked to her husband and pulled him away from the couch. “Some of us have a long day ahead. Get him back upstairs if you can, dear.” the walked to the stairs and down to their room. 

Marinette inspected the sleepy-eyed boy besides her. That definitely wasn’t going to be a piece of cake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you girls, Sanj, Lyra and Poppy, for being so understanding and letting me write most of this chapter in dms and for beta reading!
> 
> *Poppy! Thank you for letting us use your Catchphrase.   
> **Sanj is awesome and Marinettenettenette is in honor of Sanjanajanajana.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my amazing co-writer, Shattered_Heartless, and Poppy, Sanj, and Lyra for the help and support.


End file.
